i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize