yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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