He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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