is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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