I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
