Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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