i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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