Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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