I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
