i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
