dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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