I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
