Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
