Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
