I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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