You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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