Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
