its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
