Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
