found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
