Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
