Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
