Is it because I queefed?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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