xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
