What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
