i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
