i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you remember whose house we're in?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
