hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
