put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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