this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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