Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
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...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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