Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
