I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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