The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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