If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
