well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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