it wasn't lemon gatorade
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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