I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When are your genitals available?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
