There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
