he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Randomize