I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
