I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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