so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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