Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
