I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
