6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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