You work out of a Hotel?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
