I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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