Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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