he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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