her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
