I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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