Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I look better un-naked...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
