Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
