Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My balls are so social today.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize