We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
