Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
