careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need to stop coming to work sober
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
