Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
