btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
