Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
