I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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