Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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