i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
