i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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