We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
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totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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