lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
