well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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