Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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