What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
