If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
