My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
