Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
